The Management

Our guardian angel

The greeter, most beautiful boy-kitten ever

Light of our life (and our kitchen)

The Dearly Departed

The man of the house

Our hostess and chief spokeskitten

Our protector, enemy of axe-murderers whenever they arrive

The diner was founded by Hupfer Orlando Huligan Horsefeathers Lewis two months before he adopted Our Kitchen Heroine (approximately six weeks before he was born, then), via Feline Mind Control operating at a distance. Hupfer (named, in what I am not-perhaps-entirely-reliably informed is south German dialect, meaning "hopper," for his ability to levitate six feet straight up to the tops of bookshelves and shoulders (to the distress of the shoulder, as upward motion is generally halted by the application of sharp claws!)) announced that he would join the household about a week before July Fourth, 1997, and implemented the decision (to the great happiness of all concerned) on 5 July 1997. His contributions to the sanity of the head chef are innumerable (well, but her sanity is open to question), and when he's not in one of his damned anxious moods, he's the peacekeeper of the place.

A bit over two years after Hupfer's arrival to take ownership, in late August or early September 1999, the next of the managers showed up, Merlin Ambrosius Magic Lewis. Black as mom's coffee, built like a bear to a different scale, and fiercely protective of his territory, he's chiefly notable for his ability to sense the arrival of Known Axe Murderers (apparently, the sound of tires on gravel in the driveway is a dead giveaway), which causes him to growl most convincingly, then hide behind the monitor in the computer room. Well, but it only makes sense. Haven't you seen the movies? The last thing you want to do is to bravely set out to fight the villain ... it's like deciding to take a walk in the abandoned cemetery at midnight. Great for advancing the plot, but generally at the cost of shortening the length of one's cameo. In any event, he's quite effective at terrifying any interlopers that are closer to his weight class, and treats abusing Qetzl, our hostess and model of the vanity of earthly endeavour, as an amusing hobby to fill his spare time. Generally at three in the morning, after mom's just managed to drop off to sleep ....

Qetzl is his sister, and arrived a week later, because mom couldn't bear to bust up the set, and had fallen in love with her. Qetzlcoatl Montezuma Pretzel Miss Lewis has never, so far as can be determined, requited the feeling. But she adds life and excitement to the household, being in the habit of demanding to have her hair brushed every morning, and of wandering around talking aloud. She is the most social of the three owners; Hupfer tends toward the distant and aloof, Merlin toward the frantically shy (except in the presence of two or three people who have proven themselves not to be dangerous axe murderers). Qetzl seems to be particularly fond of anyone with a sensitivity to dander, who she unnerringly identifies and befriends for life.

The original set of owners was sadly depleted with the death of Qetzl in 2009, but Angel joined us, taking lessons from Merlin, whose long-separated twin he appeared to be, in color, build, and oddly enough, personality. Angel is (marginally) more friendly. After six months or so of plotting together, Merlin passed away, leaving us all broken-hearted. We believe he missed our kitty-pretzel too much, and only stayed long enough to train his replacement.

Atticus joined us in December 2010, a rescue from an overpopulated local who was getting a free fence for a dog. He's beautiful and elegant, probably part Maine Coon, and so sweet in temper that prolonged exposure has been known to contribute to dental decay.

Hupfer, Angel, and Atticus were the owners of record when the Diner reached our current location, the lovely house completed in April 2012. Our beautiful senior kitty, however, was old and stiff, and though he found the stairs here to be more navigable for his arthritic joints than the ladder in Samhain Cottage had become, this fourth home was never one he loved, and he left us in the depths of winter 2013. Our Kitchen Heroine arranged his grave (and his tree) to be visible from the kitchen window; he's still missed.

In December 2015, it finally seemed time to fill the open position on the Board of Directors, and a tiny whirlwind, Aurora, arrived to abuse the boys and claim Our Susceptible Sous-chef's affections. Aurora, Atticus, and Angel are our current management team, typically appearing to greet guests in that order.

The original owners were also acquainted with Maxtor Dukes, who was once a relatively regular attendee, and still made an occasional appearance while the Diner was still a Chapel Hill highlight. Maxtor was most known for taking on Merlin's role of chief bully of Qetzl, for not being clever enough to run away from that little bruiser quickly enough, and for sneezing. But he was one of our favorites, anyway (although Merlin might've prefer him served up).

Further details of the careers of Our Glorious Owners (past and present) are available in the page dedicated to each.